Fun
by Kurisutaru
Summary: Mamoru has been over worked and stressed, his doctor prescribed him Fun! But no one warned him it would come with a certain odango side-effect.


Fun  
Prologue: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...Mamoru Chiba Just Wants to Read  
His Physics Textbook"  
  
  
Authors: Nat-chan and Kuris-chan  
Rated: D.O.M.C.A. G (translation: Destruction of Mamoru Chiba's Apartment G....)  
Disclaimer: K-chan and I are currently fashioning special magnetic  
moon hammers oO, they will bring the rights to Sailormoon to us...mwahaha. ;;;;;  
  
Author's Notes: I just got this idea on the brain and thought,  
who's demented enough to destroy Mamoru Chiba's stuff shirt apartment  
with me? And ofcourse, K-chan came to mind....*dodges K-chan's hammers*  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Loose,  
Footloose,  
Kick off your sunday shoes!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Mamoru Chiba was heading from Physics class to work when it happened.   
He was walking steadily but a closer look revealed that he was   
exhausted...dark circles under his eyes revealed too much study   
time and not enough sleep.  
  
He'd been living on coffee and not much else...he was frightfully   
thin...He collapsed.  
  
Some classmates found him about ten minutes later, sprawled out   
and unconscious.  
  
He never could recall the ambulance ride or subsequent hours spent   
unconscious at the hospital.  
  
He awoke in the sterile green room and was immediately horrified.   
Hospital? How? What? Where?  
  
And then, ~I HATE HOSPITALS!~  
  
oops, was that outloud?  
  
The subsequent thunder of nurses feet into the room revealed, oops,   
yes it was.  
  
"Mr. Chiba, you're awake! I'll get the Doctor!"  
  
Thunder thunder thunder.  
  
The Doctor returned and tried not to look directly into the young  
man's scowl.  
  
"Mr. Chiba, how are you feeling?"  
  
"How did I get here?" He countered.  
  
"You collapsed outside your University unconscious and some  
of your classmates found you. They called an ambulance and  
you were brought here several hours ago."  
  
Mamoru's scowl faded and his expression was horrified,  
"I...I fainted?"  
  
He was humiliated. Male ego trampled like so much marmalade  
under elephant hooves. (heh heh...welcome to nat-chan's world  
of crazy metaphors....oO;;;)  
  
The Doctor looked over his notepad warily, "Mr. Chiba, you   
collapsed from exhaustion. You're overworked. Your bloodwork  
shows you are not eating or sleeping properly. You're suffering  
from stress."  
  
He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked comfortingly at  
the young man, "Have you been through anything lately that  
would increase the stress in your life?"  
  
Mamoru frowned, "No, nothing at all."  
  
The Doctor nodded, "I see. Well, you don't have to talk to  
me about it. I've booked you an appointment with our resident  
Therapist."  
  
"WHAT?!" Mamoru exclaimed in utter shock.  
  
~First fainting...now a shrink? No no no, this can't be   
happening to me!!!!!~ He thought in panic.  
  
The Doctor patted his leg, "There there young man,  
nothing to be embarassed about. You might find  
talking with a Therapist very helpful."  
  
He stood and headed for the door, Mamoru still shocked dumb,  
"Afterall, with your health in such a state, obviously   
something in your life has to change..."  
  
Then he left.  
  
Mamoru sat unblinking.  
  
Change? As in....alter his meticulous routine? What on  
earth for? It was perfectly fine the way it was.  
  
Wake up. Jog. Drink coffee. Go to School. Go to Work. Go to the arcade.  
Drink more coffee. Go home. Study. Fall asleep on textbooks.   
  
Life was perfect....wasn't it?  
  
He crossed his arm. No shrink would be delving into *his*  
brain! His routine was FINE the way it was!  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~@  
  
  
Mamoru sat stiffly in the large leather chair. Across the  
wide oak desk sat his so-called shrink. She was writing in   
a book as he fidgeted uncomfortably.  
  
With a final punctuating dot at the end of her sentence she  
smiled and closed the book firmly. Then she pulled a large  
manilla file out of her desk and opened it slowly, untangling  
the string with purposeful strokes.  
  
"Hello Mr. Chiba." She greeted as she finished and clasped  
her hands, dark eyes meeting his, "I'm Dr. Setsuna Meiou."  
  
Mamoru slowly met her eyes from his chair, "Hello." He  
managed, sounding hideously uncomfortable.  
  
"Dr. Mizuno tells me you collapsed recently from exhaustion?"  
  
Mamoru nodded bitterly. At least she didn't say *fainted*.  
  
Dr. Meiou regarded the young man carefully, noting the dark  
circles about the eyes, the thin arms and legs inside  
the baggy clothes. Yet the navy blue eyes glaring back  
at her were fierce and determined. He didn't realize he was  
exhausted. How interesting.  
  
"Has anything happened recently that would put extra  
strain on you?" She asked, already knowing the answer.  
Her file was very thorough.  
  
Mamoru's eyes narrowed, "Shall I bother answering 'no'  
or am I wasting my time?"  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
"Everyone seems to have assumed that I've been  
through some kind of trauma recently. I haven't."  
  
She smiled, "I believe you. Look, I won't bother with  
all the formalities here Mr. Chiba, I have a very  
detailed file on you already and have drawn my own  
conclusions. But I do have one question?"  
  
Mamoru nodded slowly. This Doctor wasn't like  
others he'd met.  
  
"Why were the first words you yelled upon  
regaining consciousness 'I hate hospitals'?"  
  
Mamoru's eyes narrowed, he leaned back in the chair,  
"When I was six I woke up in a hospital. I didn't remember  
how I got there or who I was. My parents were dead. I   
didn't remember them either."  
  
He watched something flicker in her eyes,  
"I see."  
  
"That wasn't in your file?" He queried sarcastically.  
  
She smiled that terribly clinical smile again.  
  
~Not so different from the others.~ He amended.  
  
"I didn't ask for your entire history, just your day-to-day  
routine." She explained.  
  
"And?" He asked warily.  
  
She leaned forward and flipped through the file,  
"You go from school to work everyday. You have your   
courses overloaded and you work long shifts...yet your are  
a straight A student."  
  
She paused, looking up to meet his eyes, "My guess is you  
study most of the night and don't get more than a few hours sleep.  
And it's obvious you don't eat properly."  
  
Suddenly Mamoru felt rather...skinny...under her gaze. He folded  
his arms uncomfortably over his chest.  
  
"I like my routine." He bit out tightly.  
  
"I'm sure you do." She smiled, "But as your body  
is trying so desperately to tell you Mr. Chiba, *it* does  
not."  
  
He looked down.  
  
"You need to work less and add some variation to your routine.  
Something that will make you relax and take better care of yourself."  
  
"In other words...?" He queried lazily.  
  
She smiled, capping her pen, "In other words, fun."  
  
The word was like an electric shock to his body. He stiffened in so   
many places at once it was actually quite frightening to watch.  
His blue eyes filled with sheer terror.  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"No!" He exclaimed, climbing up the chair a bit, "You can't make  
me!"  
  
She bit back the urge to laugh, "Mr. Chiba, I have already  
contacted your University and your job. You are dropping  
a class and taking one less shift a week at least."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Mamoru Chiba cried in distress.  
  
"You need to find a relaxing activity...something you enjoy,  
to take your mind of your studies..."  
  
Every word was like a needle in his spine, he was gripping the   
chair, tangling his limbs anxiously as he climbed further up,  
"No! You can't make me! I won't do it! I HATE fun!"  
  
Dr. Meiou smiled darkly. What a unique young man.  
"Mr. Chiba, you need some free time in your schedule. And   
having fun is a healthy part of living--"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came the agonized reply of  
one Mamoru Chiba.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~@  
  
  
It was early afternoon when Mamoru stomped furiously into the arcade.  
He threw his things onto the counter and smashed himself onto a  
stool.  
  
Motoki looked at him in surprise, "Mamoru, what are you  
doing here? Don't you work in the afternoons?"  
  
"Not today..." He muttered bitterly.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Mamoru turned his rage-red eyes to his friend who took  
a step back, nearly dropping the glass he was  
drying with a towel.  
  
"I collapsed from exhaustion yesterday."  
  
"What?" Motoki exclaimed in concern, "Why? How?  
Are you ok?"  
  
Mamoru waved his hand, "Yes, yes..." Then suddenly  
he grabbed Motoki by the collar and pulled him over so  
they were nose to nose, "If you tell *anyone* that I  
*fainted* I will....destroy you...."  
  
Motoki nodded rapidly, "...ok..." He gasped out.  
  
Mamoru let him go, "Anyways, they made me go  
to this shrink..."  
  
He went to grab Motoki again but his friend dodged,  
"I get the idea!" He cried.  
  
"She says I'm overworked and called my school and   
job. They made me drop a course and a shift a week!"  
  
"You mean you actually have....??"  
  
"...freetime!" Mamoru finished on a near-sob,  
he buried his face in his hands, "...she told  
me I have to learn to have...to have...."  
  
The last word was squeaked out so softly it was  
barely audible,  
  
"..............fun............."  
  
Motoki watched his nearly sobbing friend curiously,  
"Uh...there there pal." He comforted, patting him  
awkwardly on the back.  
  
Mamoru shot up, "I *HATE* fun Motoki! What am  
I going to do?"  
  
Motoki fell silent as a sudden memory struck him....ohh the  
irony of it all....Mamoru needing to learn how to have  
fun....who was the most fun person he knew????  
  
hmmmm....who did he know that was the exact opposite,  
an expert on fun.....  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Motoki came out of the back room and beheld  
the sight at the counter in shock.  
  
Side by side on stools sat mortal enemies  
Mamoru Chiba and Usagi Tsukino....reading....  
  
They weren't shouting, they weren't throwing things...  
nothing had been broken...and they were both READING??!!!  
  
He looked at their books.   
  
Mamoru: Physics 5600: Advanced  
Studies of the Dynamics of Earth  
  
Usagi: Sailor V: Special Secret  
Manga Edition #56: Sailor V Saves  
the Earth!!!  
  
  
He shook his head.   
  
Ah well, it was an odd truce....who was  
he to complain?  
  
Suddenly Usagi broke into hysterical laughter  
at something in her comic...and all was lost.  
  
Mamoru looked up from his Physics book in frustration.  
"Odango? Could you keep it down please? SOME people  
are trying to read in PEACE!"  
  
Usagi's eyes had narrowed, "News flash baka, *THIS*,"  
she grabbed his head and forced him to look around,  
"Is an arcade...a place for fun and games and laughter.  
NO ONE comes here to study....except for your sorry-butt!"  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Ofcourse! He was genius! Usagi was the world's greatest  
expert on fun! She could teach him!  
  
He grinned and patted Mamoru's back again, "What you need  
my friend, is someone with a vast knowledge of the art of  
fun, to show you all the ropes. And I have *just* the person!"  
  
Mamoru looked up and regarded him suspiciously, "Who?"  
He asked reluctantly.  
  
Motoki's eyes sparkled, "Usagi-chan ofcourse!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Came the agonized  
cry of Mamoru Chiba for the second time in two days.  
  
He got up to run, "No no no Motoki! No WAY!"  
  
"But Mamoru, it's perfect, she's--"  
  
He was already out the door running desperately. He'd actually  
forgotten his precious physics book....  
  
The girls entered at this point, all chattering happily.  
Usagi chanced a glance around, "Hey!" She exclaimed   
gleefully, "THE BAKA ISN'T HERE!"  
  
She danced for joy and sat down at the booth.  
  
"Actually," Motoki cleared his throat nervously, "I have  
something to ask you Usagi-chan."  
  
"Anything Motoki-oni-san!" She grinned.  
  
"It's about Mamoru..."   
  
Happy Usagi-chan vanished instantly. More than  
instantly.  
  
"What?" Her voice became quite deadly and Motoki  
grinned nervously, scratching the back of his head,  
  
"Uhhhh heh heh heh..."  
  
But he exclaimed Mamoru's ploy and his sentence from  
the Therapist.  
  
To his surprise, Usagi was quite horrified that Mamoru  
had collapsed from exhaustion.  
  
"He *is* really skinny." Makoto observed.  
  
"And you ARE the expert on fun Usagi-chan." Ami  
put in carefully.  
  
"AND eating." Rei snickered.  
  
Usagi stuck her tongue out at Rei. Then she   
was thoughtful, "....well, alright oni-san....I'll  
do my best."  
  
"Yay!" They all cheered their great-hearted friend.  
  
"Uhh...the only problem is...when I suggested it to him,  
he ran screaming out of the arcade..." Motoki sweatdropped.  
  
Makoto and Rei stood, "Which way did he go?" Makoto grinned  
grinding a fist into her hand.  
  
Motoki's eyes widened, "Uh...that way...?" He pointed.  
  
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.  
  
Makoto and Rei vanished out the door.  
  
"Alright." Said Usagi determindly, "Tell me all about his  
routine so I know what to do."  
  
Motoki sighed and began.  
  
By the time he was finished, Rei and Makoto had retrieved Mamoru.  
*How* he would never know. They dragged him in kicking and screaming.  
  
"NO! You *CAN'T* make me! I refuse!"  
  
They dragged him over to face Usagi. She grinned, "Hey Mamoru-baka!  
I heard you need to learn how to have fun! And since *I'm* the  
expert..."  
  
"NO!" He cried, shaking his head, "Never!"  
  
"Oh really?" She countered sweetly, then dangled his precious physics  
book in front of his face. His eyes widened.  
  
"I have your physics book!" She sang out.  
  
His eyes narrowed, "Give me that!"  
  
She giggled, "Let him go girls."  
  
They exchanged glances but did as she instructed.  
  
She leaned close to his face, "...no..." She peeped and then took off in  
a run out the door with his book.  
  
Mamoru turned heel and made chase.  
  
A trail of dust was all that was left a second later, followed by,  
"ODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
and the malicious laughter of one Tsukino Usagi on a mission. She was  
headed for his apartment building.  
  
Mamoru huffed and puffed after her. He was taller...but the inconsequent lack  
of anything but coffee in his diet had taken it's toll. Plus, no one could  
run faster than Usagi.  
  
But his physics book....  
  
Too late he realized she had led him home and was flying up the stairs to his   
apartment.  
  
No, not his precious immaculate apartment! Usagi...she'd destroy it....  
  
He ran faster.  
  
When he reached his floor he found her standing calmly by the window at the   
end of the hall, and dangling out precariously in the wind, was his textbook.  
  
"Open the door." She commanded smiling.  
  
He stepped closer, she loosened her grip on his book.  
  
"no" he whispered desperately.  
  
This couldn't be happening. But he had to save his book!  
  
Grudgingly he unlocked the door and she flew in faster than he could have   
imagined, tossing the precious book into his hands in her aftermath.  
  
"Goddess!" She cried from inside, "Look at this place! We have SO much  
work to do!"  
  
Mamoru Chiba hung his head in defeat, and walked in behind her....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
